I opened my email this morning to find the following new message:
Upon seeing the word “colon” being used in a non-grammatical context, I immediately knew I wasn’t interested, but I clicked on the link anyway to get some more information because it sounded too bad to be true. This is what I learned:
Back by popular demand my ass! Literally. I still do not understand what exactly they are offering, but from the description it appears to involve using a bidet wrong for extended periods of time.
As if an increase of the grotesque was necessary, the add warns (or boasts?), “Could flush debris from your body.” Debris? According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, “debris” means “1: the remains of something broken down or destroyed; 2 : an accumulation of fragments of rock; 3 : something discarded: rubbish.” God help us all. DO NOT WANT.