If all goes according to plan this weekend, I will finally complete The Trifecta. Yes, I will have journeyed to Atlantic City, Vegas, and Daytona all in one season. And I will have missed a lot of days of work this spring, by far more than any other associate at my firm. It’s basically been the longest and most intermittent spring break ever. I feel inordinately proud.
This is not unlike my senior year of high school when my high school band director informed me that I had missed more band rehearsals than any other student in his 45-year career due to my staunch refusal to quit the soccer team or the swim team. I went up for the high-five, misreading that comment completely.
But back to my triathlon-ish feat that will be completed this weekend (fingers crossed! My confidence is belied by the fact that I’m publishing my acceptance speech before the consummation of the act):
I couldn’t have done this alone. There are many people I have to thank, most of whom are brides who, in their wisdom, decided on the most outrageous dens of sin & insanity for bachelorette and/or wedding ceremony destinations. I’d also like to thank my discovercard, with which I booked lots of plane tickets; Marvin, my Delta wheelchair escort who got me to the Atlantic City airplane gate in record time, despite my bum knee and his old age; my assistant for “holding my calls” and not telling everyone that I was in fact wasted in a casino again; and last but not least, the MARTA bus and train drivers for taking a chance on an unknown kid.