A Triathlon of Cirrhotic Proportions

If all goes according to plan this weekend, I will finally complete The Trifecta.  Yes, I will have journeyed to Atlantic City, Vegas, and Daytona all in one season.  And I will have missed a lot of days of work this spring, by far more than any other associate at my firm.  It’s basically been the longest and most intermittent spring break ever.  I feel inordinately proud.

This is not unlike my senior year of high school when my high school band director informed me that I had missed more band rehearsals than any other student in his 45-year career due to my staunch refusal to quit the soccer team or the swim team.  I went up for the high-five, misreading that comment completely.

But back to my triathlon-ish feat that will be completed this weekend (fingers crossed!  My confidence is belied by the fact that I’m publishing my acceptance speech before the consummation of the act):

I couldn’t have done this alone.  There are many people I have to thank, most of whom are brides who, in their wisdom, decided on the most outrageous dens of sin & insanity for bachelorette and/or wedding ceremony destinations.  I’d also like to thank my discovercard, with which I booked lots of plane tickets; Marvin, my Delta wheelchair escort who got me to the Atlantic City airplane gate in record time, despite my bum knee and his old age; my assistant for “holding my calls” and not telling everyone that I was in fact wasted in a casino again; and last but not least, the MARTA bus and train drivers for taking a chance on an unknown kid.



  1 comment for “A Triathlon of Cirrhotic Proportions

  1. Shannon
    May 14, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    I am not gonna lie…I didn’t know you were in band. I am a terrible friend.

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