The University Telemarketing Shakedown

There should be a rule that your alma mater cannot solicit you for donations until after your student loans have been repaid in full.  UGA does not follow this rule.  Instead, UGA employs slick-talking students to cold-call alum and try to turn you upside down and shake money out of your pants.  It’s a good thing I’m wearing a muumuu with no pockets.  Who’s the joke on now?!

My experience this evening has proven to me that the University of Georgia’s student callers are indefatigable!  I got the call right around dinner time because everyone knows I’ll just be sitting around watching a marathon of Secret Life of an American Teenager on ABC Family.  I tried my best to throw him some heavy curveballs, but this student caller would not quit!  I guess the script looks at the amount you donated last year and then asks for approximately 4 times that amount.  So when he asked whether I wanted to “up my pledge” I responded “I don’t think I can do that right now.  It’s been a rough spring.  I totaled my car and just found out I need surgery on my knee for a non-car-accident related injury.”

If I were the student caller on the other end I woulda been like “Oh shit!  That sounds awful! Clearly you need to take all of your disposable income and spend it on things like Yoda flashdrives on which to store video clips of puppies wearing bunny ears.”  But no, this kid lowered the amount a shmidge and kept on going.   And that’s when I pretended to be going through a tunnel and hung up.  Indiscreet?  No.  Effective, yes.  Now– five minutes after the call– I’m feeling the guilt set in.  I’ll probably go online and donate over twice what I was planning on just because I feel bad.  Well played, UGA.

  2 comments for “The University Telemarketing Shakedown

  1. Shannon
    April 10, 2012 at 9:34 am

    “It’s a good thing I’m wearing a muumuu with no pockets. Who’s the joke on now?!”

    delightful.

  2. Honoria Glossop
    April 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

    Does it help to say that I got the muumuu at Anthropologie, and it is therefore an oxymoronic “hip muumuu”?

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