Monthly Archives: February 2012

Bathetic

That’s what I am.  No, this is not a Homestar Runner way of saying “pathetic” (though this adjective may arguably apply on a day-to-day basis as well), but “bathetic.”  For proof, I offer a statement of last night’s activities compared to tonight’s agenda: Last night:  I attended the Atlanta Premier of Wim Wender’s Pina in…

Teamwork and the Spreadsheets

We had my firm’s “Annual Meeting” this past month, and it was delicious.  And by delicious, I mean they fed us breakfast. Over the past few years it has been increasingly clear to me that an Annual Meeting is little more than a chance for my bosses to say ridiculous words like “synergy” and create…

Traffic Thoughts by Flossie Glossop

“If I were a large black woman who happened to own a Jaguar in which to speed recklessly down I-85 while wearing a crocheted fuchsia muumuu, I’d probably get a vanity plate that reads ‘KIWIFUZ’ too.” As an update on today’s rush hour traffic thought, I have now googled “kiwifuz” (mostly to make sure that…

Two Sides to Every Song

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  Seemingly overnight, Gotye’s single “Somebody That I Used to Know” rocketed out of internet obscurity onto the mainstream radar.  I heard it first on DaveFM, then watched as my Facebook newsfeed proceeded to explode with repost after repost. I checked this morning and the Youtube video for it has over 63 million views. I’ve…

Coffee and Cigarettes

For the first time in what feels like five years, this weekend I had nothing to do.  It has been glorious.   On Friday night, after taking 3 sips of Asahi, I fell asleep while trying to watch a Jim Jarmusch film at 10:30pm.   I then begrudgingly got out of bed Saturday at approximately 12:45pm.  Over…

Planning Your Own Funeral

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Yesterday I stumbled across this transcript of a brief NPR piece called “Planning Ahead Can Make A Difference In The End” by writer Aaron Freeman: “You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your…

TGIF, MFs.

I REALLLY didn’t want to work today.  I was so desperate to not work that I actually announced to my bosses at a morning meeting that “I might have to leave at 3pm to go to a memorial service.”  What I did not mention was the fact that I actually had never met the deceased. …

Child-molesting scam artist Eddie Long desecrates Holocaust in furtherance of self-aggrandizing fraud on Dekalb County’s poor

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Noted child molester and pyramid-scheme operator Eddie Long knows that the only parishioners still attending his church are among the most vulnerable, insecure, uneducated, and superstitious residents of Dekalb County, Georgia. Most of these congregants only continue to attend New Birth because they’ve put a bunch of money into one of Long’s pyramid schemes, and…